Accepting Applications for a Replacement Life Partner…

Dear Readers,

You would think that a social media maverick like Tricia Lynn Auld would have tighter security on one of her seven forms of expression, but “minieggs84” was my third guess and I cracked the NBMS.com passcode.

Allow myself, to reintroduce…myself. I’m Aaron and I’ve had the unique pleasure of being Patty’s gay best friend, therapist, sidekick, fashion consultant, wingman, chef, financier, and landlord over the past 15 years. Enough about me though…

The reason I have hacked into NBMS is not to boost the number of Twitter and Instagram followers I have, but to help highlight a number of the qualities that Patricia possesses that I know some man out there would be lucky to experience, perhaps in a romantic fashion.

As the age old adage goes, “a picture says a thousand words”. For that reason, I have chosen a few photos to help me illustrate some of the qualities I know hundreds…no thousands, of men seek in a woman.

As many of you ladies and gents know, Ms. Auld is an up-and-coming standup in the Boston comedy scene. Needless to say, she has a fantastic sense of humor and is always ready to entertain!

Comedy

Trish may be breaking into the comedy scene, but many of you may not know, she has done several amateur modeling gigs over the years. Models must have an innate confidence, raw sexiness, and a FLAWLESS walk! Patricia Lynn embodies all of the above…and below…

ModelWalk

Model Walk

(click to see her strut her stuff)

Model

Gentlemen, and/or ladies…believe me, at this point I don’t think she is ruling anyone out (See above Lids cover photo from the soon to be released 2016 Spring softball catalog) Get ready to see some of Patty’s best assets. A woman that is comfortable with her own body makes bedroom times all the more fun! #StillsCantKeepaGoodGalDown #BreakUpDiet #CostumeMalfunction #Braless #StillsAwareness2015

Nude

Everyone I know needs someone that has the ability and desire to take care of them from time to time. Not only does Trish have a keen sense of nutrition, a visionary eye when it comes to decorating with everyday items, but she is also an ADD all-star when it comes to multitasking and holding up pans of food I’ve cooked! If you act now, you could land this #Homemaker before she is off the market!

homebody

I could honestly go on and on about this dime-piece, but I think I’ll wrap it up with this last section. When life gets tough, you need a lady that is flexible and goes with the flow…Perhaps she just drops into a split to break the tension at a stuffy Nantucket Regatta. Maybe you’ve been backpacking around Europe, miss your flight after one too many bottles…I mean glasses,,,of vino and ya gotta catch a couple of ZZZZs but you don’t have the cash for a hotel room. Well, Patricia Lynn is your gal! Don’t get me wrong, she is flexible, but she is still a chick. She loves a good cry! Maybe minieggs are no longer available, maybe she had a “brown out” and is worried about what she might have blurted out in a moment of pure honesty, or my favorite, McDonalds is closed and all she wanted was a McFlurry. As you will see below, she is not afraid to get her cry on…If after this you aren’t going to reach out and ask my straight bestie out for a COCK…tail, or dinner, or breakfast (after an unforgettable evening that she will try to parlay into a relationship), then you are boring and I am embarrassed that you read this much.

emotions

You folks would be #BLESSED to have Tricia as an evening escort, a short-term FB, or a life partner. Take my word for it, she is a catch and if you are lucky enough to hold her attention for longer than Mark Zuckerburg, it could be the beginning of the end…Consider yourselves warned!

Yours truly,

Aaron

2 Responses

  1. Chris
    Chris February 8, 2016 at 6:53 pm | | Reply

    Where does one get said application? 😆

  2. Annie Castellano
    Annie Castellano April 21, 2016 at 9:47 pm | | Reply

    I love this!

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